


Treaties vs Treats

by Brynhildr



Series: 40 Days Of Middle Earth [16]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 12:31:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13904082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynhildr/pseuds/Brynhildr
Summary: Bard is tired of all the name calling.Thranduil has a headache.Dain wants those pointy eared ones as far away as possible.





	Treaties vs Treats

Thranduil was not happy.

"I'm not giving over any treasure to the pointy eared fairies," Dain growled in annoyance as he looked over the trade agreements again.

"I don't want you're treasure, just the gems of starlight I was promised by Thror. You can keep your grubby like hands on the rest for all I care," he hissed back. Elves did not get headaches. He was getting a headache from this pointless meeting.

"My Lords, if we could remain on task!" Balin interjected, but was cut off by Dain again.

"If the princess will, I will-"

"Do NOT call me princess, you dirt eater-"

Bard slammed his hands down on the table as he stood. 

"When you have finished your petty quarrel, you can find me in Dale, with my children. I don't have time for bickering when my people have no access to homes with all four walls AND rooves intact. You are worse than children poking each other with sticks." He pushed his chair back with a screech and strode purposely out of the room.

The eyes of the two kings silently followed his exit before Dain turned back to the elven king and said, "my stick is sturdier than your stick."

Balin rested his head in his hands and lamented his recent life choices once more.

.......

"You're back earlier than I expected," Bard said as he braided Tilda's hair securely. He shooed his youngest off to bed and frowned when he turned around to see the blond elf standing several feet away from his bed. "Did the two of you finally come up with a compromise?" He asked hopefully. 

"In a manner of speaking," Thranduil muttered. Bard rolled his eyes.

"Five days of listening to the two of you sniping back and forth," Bard said dramatically as he walked over to the well dressed elf and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. Thranduil crowded into the man's space and pushed him up against the wall. The kiss was electric and well practiced and left them both gasping for air. 

"I'm sorry, my love, but we must keep appearances-"

Bard stepped away.

"Nope! You either fight with him and sleep on the side sofa, or you let it go and enjoy a relaxing evening with your husband."

"Why did I marry such a stubborn man?" He said to himself before turning to Bard.

"Because you love me, even when I was just a bargeman ferrying your wine up and down the river."

Bard pulled his husband into his bed and turned out the lamp. Bard was looking forward to a peaceful night's sleep.

.....

Dain was still a pain the next day, but Thranduil offered no replying comments and soon the meeting began to wind down. He smirked at Bard as he left the room.

"What was that about, laddie?" Dain asked. 

"You really don't want to know," Bain said from his seat next to his father. "Trust me."

Bard just smiled and left the room. His husband deserved his treat now.

**Author's Note:**

> Falling asleep again... Please ignore any glaring typos.


End file.
